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    <p>This is not an answer, but Zach himself got a kick out of this one. It's part of an easter egg in the cbrain esoteric programming language, <a href="http://esolangs.org/wiki/Cbrain" rel="nofollow">http://esolangs.org/wiki/Cbrain</a>. A bf derivative, compiled with OpenCOBOL. To be off-by-frog, the conditional value fair could be set to 2 instead of 1. frogSort in COBOL.</p> <pre><code> *&gt; ******************************************************** *&gt; frogSort, called for help with 10-94, request for count *&gt; ******************************************************** identification division. program-id. frogsort. data division. working-storage section. 01 opinion usage binary-long. 01 shared-value pic 99. 88 fair value 1. 01 caveman-count pic x(12) value "[-]+++++++++". 01 spacer pic x(10) value spaces. linkage section. 01 jars. 05 flies pic 9 occurs 21 times. *&gt; ******************************************************** procedure division using jars. start-here. move function length(jars) to shared-value display "Grog sort jars. frogSort" end-display display "http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2831" end-display . forkyourself. call "fork" returning opinion end-call if opinion is zero then subtract 1 from shared-value if not fair then go forkyourself. . call "sleep" using by value flies(shared-value) end-call display "Jar: " function char(shared-value + 65) " reporting " caveman-count(1 : flies(shared-value) + 3) " flies," spacer(1 : 10 - flies(shared-value)) "that would be " flies(shared-value) " to you, futureman." end-display call "wait" using by value 0 end-call stop run returning 107. end program frogsort. </code></pre> <p>with the easter egg kicked with CALL "frogsort" USING ""012345678901234567890" END-CALL</p> <pre><code>$ ./cbrainrun 10-12 Welcome to cbrain v0.42 cb: 1094 cb: help Grog sort jars. frogSort http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2831 Jar: U reporting [-] flies, that would be 0 to you, futureman. Jar: K reporting [-] flies, that would be 0 to you, futureman. Jar: A reporting [-] flies, that would be 0 to you, futureman. Jar: L reporting [-]+ flies, that would be 1 to you, futureman. Jar: B reporting [-]+ flies, that would be 1 to you, futureman. Jar: M reporting [-]++ flies, that would be 2 to you, futureman. Jar: C reporting [-]++ flies, that would be 2 to you, futureman. Jar: N reporting [-]+++ flies, that would be 3 to you, futureman. Jar: D reporting [-]+++ flies, that would be 3 to you, futureman. Jar: O reporting [-]++++ flies, that would be 4 to you, futureman. Jar: E reporting [-]++++ flies, that would be 4 to you, futureman. Jar: P reporting [-]+++++ flies, that would be 5 to you, futureman. Jar: F reporting [-]+++++ flies, that would be 5 to you, futureman. Jar: Q reporting [-]++++++ flies, that would be 6 to you, futureman. Jar: G reporting [-]++++++ flies, that would be 6 to you, futureman. Jar: R reporting [-]+++++++ flies, that would be 7 to you, futureman. Jar: H reporting [-]+++++++ flies, that would be 7 to you, futureman. Jar: S reporting [-]++++++++ flies, that would be 8 to you, futureman. Jar: I reporting [-]++++++++ flies, that would be 8 to you, futureman. Jar: T reporting [-]+++++++++ flies, that would be 9 to you, futureman. Jar: J reporting [-]+++++++++ flies, that would be 9 to you, futureman. </code></pre>
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